You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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