my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
