We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
