you traded sex for a burrito?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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