Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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