Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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