i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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