her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
