Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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