Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
