I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
