he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
