Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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