shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My hand turned me down
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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