Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
