I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
This house was built for laser tag.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
