Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
