Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
