after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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