I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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