The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
