Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Randomize
