hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
