you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
