dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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