I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
