Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
