Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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