I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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