dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
