he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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