A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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