Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
