Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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