Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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