we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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