THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
