Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
