And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Be still, my beating vagina.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
