Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I am available for nakedness
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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