Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
