Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
