You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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