Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
