He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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