i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
