You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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