Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
