"it" just moved
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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