wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
