Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
